The Night I Became Someone’s Mum

In this deeply personal episode, Charlie opens up about the quiet, overwhelming moment when motherhood truly hit her — not during pregnancy or birth, but in the still of the night, holding her baby when the world was finally quiet. She explores the identity shift that no one warns you about, what it really means to "become a mum," and why growing into motherhood is messier, slower, and more beautiful than anyone tells you.

*What You'll Learn:*

- Why the "I'm a mum" realisation doesn't always happen straight away

- The identity shift of matrescence — and why it's completely normal to feel like a different person

- What Charlie wishes someone had told her as a first-time mum

- How to give yourself grace while growing into motherhood

- 5 gentle action steps to help you in the early days

Stay connected with Charlie

Website: https://stan.store/Charliesparentingpages (Mum Matters Community)

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/charliesparentingpages/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Charliesparentingpages

A new episode is released every Sunday!

Transcript

0:25

Hi, and welcome back to chat with Charlie on Mom Matters podcast. Today's episode is a personal one. It's called The Night. I Realized That I Was Someone's mom because I don't think that moment always happens during pregnancy or even straight after birth. It's such a whirlwind. Sometimes it happens later, sometimes it happens quietly, and sometimes it hits you all at once. And when it does, it can feel overwhelming, beautiful, terrifying, and grounding all at the same time. I remember the night so clearly, the house was finally quiet. Everyone was asleep, I was holding my baby in the middle of the night, complete silence, no visitors, no advice, no distractions, just me and this tiny human who depended on me for everything. I remember thinking, oh my gosh, I'm someone's mom. Not in a cute Instagram way, not in the new baby excitement way, but in a deep. A almost heavy way. Someone needed me in order to survive. Someone trusted me without question, someone's whole world had become me. And that's a really big concept. We think of our babies and our children being our entire world. But how often do we think that we are theirs? Everything that they know is you. And that's something that I was touching on in the episode talking about the magic of being a mom. We have that incredible superpower to be everything to our children. And that moment, it really, really changes you. becoming a parent isn't just about having a baby. It's an identity shift and no one really prepares you for that part. You're still you, but you are also someone new as well. You might feel unsure, emotional. Protective proud. A little scared at times, exhausted most of the time, deeply connected in a way that you will never have felt before and strangely disconnected at times trying to figure out who you were before who you are now and how that's supposed to connect. It can all happen all at once, and that's totally normal. Of course you don't know that as a first time mom, at least I didn't, but that's why I'm here sharing this with you now. You don't instantly feel like mom, the moment your baby arrives. Sometimes it takes a few days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months. And sometimes it comes in small moments like settling your baby when no one else can. You're the only person that they'll go to such a nice feeling, knowing their cry without thinking, checking on them while they're sleeping, realizing you'd do anything, absolutely anything to keep them safe. Motherhood often arrives quietly, not dramatically. think a lot of people think that it's like this dramatic change, which a lot of it can be very, very dramatic, or feel like that, but a lot of these shifts happen quite silently until you turn around one day and you're like, oh, wow, that's really different now. I wish someone had told me when I was a first time mom that you don't have to feel confident to be a good mom. I think this is a really big one. We spend a lot of time looking at other people and looking at how confident they look, how confident they seem, and thinking that you actually have to know everything that you need to be like a mom encyclopedia from day one, but that's not the case at all. In fact, most of being a mom comes from your instinct, which is how you differ from every other mom, because like I've said so many times before, nobody knows your child in the way that you do, and that is what makes you a good mom. You don't have to know everything to be the right mom, and you certainly don't have to enjoy every moment to love your child so deeply, you don't have to become a perfect mom overnight, or even at all. Your kids don't need perfection. You grow into motherhood. You grow with your child slowly. Messily beautifully. the truth is the last thing your baby needs is perfection. They just need you as you are, that's the best growth that you can have as a mother and the best growth that you can give to your child. There's actually a reason this moment can feel so emotional after birth. Parents experience, hormonal changes, sleep deprivation. The most painful feeling, in my opinion. Responsibility, overload. before becoming a mom, the only person you had to look after. Was yourself and now you are responsible for this baby. And believe me, you are doing such an incredible job with the tools that you have instinctively. But it can feel like a massive overload and a huge responsibility shift, identity adjustment. Like who am I now? Emotional vulnerability. That's a lot to do with your hormones as well. Your brain is literally adjusting to caregiving. Psychologists sometimes call this mares essence, the transition into motherhood, similar to adolescence in how deeply it changes you. So if you've ever thought, why do I feel so different? Why am I emotional all the time? Why am I unsure of myself? It's not because you're doing something wrong. It's because you're changing in one of the biggest ways a person can change If you are listening to this while holding a newborn or rocking a baby at night, or wondering if you're doing this right. You are not alone. Every parent has a moment or many moments where reality settles in and you realize this little person is mine to care for. And even if it feels overwhelming, it's also incredibly powerful because you are becoming the person your child will run to when they're hurt. Laugh with when they're happy and trust when the world feels big. This is an extraordinary thing If you are in that early stage of motherhood, here are a few gentle things that you can do. Number one, capture one small moment each day, not for social media. Just for you, write down one thing that you noticed about your baby or yourself. Number two, talk kindly to yourself. If you wouldn't say it to a new mom, friend, then don't say it to yourself. Number three, focus on connection, not perfection. A cuddle. Eye contact, singing or talking to your baby matters so much more than doing everything right. Always connection over perfection. Number four, let yourself grow into motherhood. You don't have to feel ready all the time to be ready. Number five. It's so important. Ask for support. Motherhood was never meant to be done alone. And remember, asking for help is not a weakness. It actually is one of the strongest moves that you can do that night. That I realized I was someone's mom, wasn't the moment that I became perfect at all. It was the moment that I understood that love and responsibility can exist together even when confidence hasn't caught up yet. And if you're still growing into motherhood. You are doing it exactly the way most of us do. One moment at a time. Keep doing things just the way you are. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you in the next episode.