Leaving the House with a Newborn: Practical Tips

Ever felt like leaving the house with your baby requires the same level of planning as a two-week holiday abroad? You're not alone — and you're definitely not doing anything wrong.

In this episode, Charlie shares everything she learned (the hard way, across five babies) about actually getting out the front door with a newborn. From the mental load that makes a simple trip to the shops feel impossible, to the practical systems that finally made outings manageable — this is the honest, no-judgement guide every first-time mum needs.

Whether you're struggling to leave the house at all, or just want to feel less frazzled when you do, this episode will leave you feeling seen, supported, and ready to try again.

What You’ll Learn:

* Why leaving the house with a baby is genuinely hard (and why it's not your fault)

* The mindset shift that changed everything for Charlie

* How to have a bag that's always ready to grab and go

* The "feed just before you leave" trick that stops the endless cycle

* How to find your local "reset spots" for when things go sideways

* What to do when it all falls apart in public

* Why getting out — even imperfectly — matters more than you think

RESOURCES MENTIONED

* The First Time Mum Ultimate Handbook — Find it in Charlie's Stan Store (link in Instagram bio @charliesparentingpages) or on Charlie’s website below

Stay connected with Charlie

Website: https://stan.store/Charliesparentingpages (Mum Matters Community)

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/charliesparentingpages/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Charliesparentingpages

A new episode is released every Sunday!

Transcript

Charlie 0:26

Hello. Welcome back to Chat with Charlie on Mom Matters. I'm Charlie, mom of five ages, 11 down to two years old, today. We're talking about something that's so simple, it almost feels ridiculous to dedicate an entire episode to it. But as we unravel this episode, I feel like there's gonna be many of you nodding to this episode, leaving the house with a baby. That's it. Just getting out of the front door with your new baby. And if you're a first time mom listening to this. You are probably nodding along already because you know how hard this actually is, how a simple trip to the shops can feel like you are planning a military operation. And I think it's something that I really, really struggled with with my first baby. So I feel like I need to talk about it to other first time moms that might be struggling. So if that is you. Then you're in the right place. I wanna talk about how by the time you've got yourself and the baby ready, you are so exhausted that you don't even wanna go anymore. That used to happen to me all the time. So today I'm going to share what I learned the hard way about getting out of the house with a newborn, and I'm gonna give you some practical tips that actually work from experience tips that I wish. Someone had given me with my first baby, so let's get into it. Okay. Let's just start by acknowledging something important. Leaving the house with a baby is genuinely, legitimately really hard. It's not just you. It's not that you are doing something wrong. It's actually really difficult. And there are real reasons for that. I remember with my first baby, I used to look at other moms out and about at the supermarket, at playgroups, at baby groups, just walking around and I think, how are they doing this? What do they know that I don't? Because for me, it felt literally impossible By the time I'd got myself dressed. And I used the word dressed loosely. I mean, I'd found something cleanish to wear and fed the baby, changed his nappy and packed the nappy bag, found my keys, and remembered we needed muslins, and actually got us both to the front door. He'd need feeding again or his nappy would need changing again. I always found that whenever I was just about to go out. It was like a dirty nappy, like almost like they know, the babies know, okay, we're about to go out now. I need to delay this process. I don't know, but it just always feels like it happened at that moment, even if I'd just changed the baby not long ago before, and I'd literally be standing there like, what is the point of this? So I started finding ways around it. Online grocery shopping, ordering everything from Amazon. I guess that's where my Amazon addiction started waiting until Aron got home from work so he could go instead or so he could watch the baby while I went alone. and honestly, some days that's exactly what you need to do. There's no shame in that. It's not the wrong thing to do. But I also knew that staying inside all of the time wasn't good for me or the baby for that matter. I was getting more anxious, more isolated, more trapped in my own head, and it all became a bigger thing than it needed to become. I needed to get out. I just didn't know how to do it efficiently, And here's the thing that really got me the thought of the buggy. Just the thought of getting the buggy out of the cupboard, unfolding it, loading it into the car, getting the baby in, getting the baby out, folding it back up. I'd feel like overwhelmed and exhausted before I'd even started. It sounds so silly when I say it out loud, but if you've been there, you know that it's not silly at all when you are sleep deprived and overwhelmed and your hormones are all over the place. Even small tasks feel so enormous, and the funny thing is, I laugh about it now, but with every baby I've had, I've looked back at previous one and thought that was so easy compared to this. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn't it? With baby number two, I thought, why did I find one baby so hard? This is harder with baby number three. I thought two was nothing. three is chaos. And so on. So if you are on your first baby and you are struggling to leave the house, please know this. It's a learning curve. It does get easier, not because babies get easier. They don't but because you get better at it. So before I get into the practical tips, I wanna talk about something that made a huge difference for me and that like anything is the mindset shift. cause here's what I realized. I was putting so much pressure on myself to have everything perfect before I left the house. The baby had to be freshly fed. Freshly changed. I had to look presentable. The bag had to have everything we could possibly need in every situation. The timing had to be right, and because I was aiming for perfection, I almost never actually left the house. The shift came when I accepted that. Leaving the house with a baby is always going to be a little bit chaotic, a bit messy, a bit imperfect. And that's perfectly okay. The baby might cry in the car, you might forget something. But my mom said to me, she says to me on a lot of occasions where the kids are concerned, you know, most things, if you forget something, most things you can actually buy while you're out. And that shrunk a lot of my panic that I couldn't just get another one if I need, there's certain things that you really wanna have, but if you forgot the wipes, you could go and grab a packet while you're out. You might get there and realize that you need to feed the baby again immediately. You might have sick on your shoulder that you didn't notice. None of that means that you've failed. The point is life happens. It just means that you're a mom with a baby doing your best. The goal isn't for a perfect outing. The goal is to get out. Fresh air, a change of scenery, a reminder that the world still exists outside of your four walls. It's so important and only when you actually get out, do you feel how good it feels to, to actually achieve that. So once I let go of the idea that everything had to be perfect, it became so much easier to just go. And I think I only really learned that Once I'd had my second baby and third baby, because you really don't have time for perfection then, but I want you to know this from your first baby so you can be 10 steps ahead of me. So let's get into the practical stuff. There are things that actually helped me get out of the house faster and with less stress, and I'm gonna share them with you so you can be prepared. So number one, tip number one, have a bag that's already ready. This was a game changer for me. Instead of like packing as you go, have a ready made bag with all the main essentials in nappies, wipes, muslins, change of clothes, maybe for you as well, if you feel like you need it as maybe a small toy, like if they're teething or you know, just a ready to make bag. Keep it by the door or in the car and every time you use something from it, just put it back. As soon as you get home, not later, not tomorrow, right then, so then it's off your head, it's done. One less thing for you to have to worry about. That way when you wanna leave the house, you're not running around trying to find everything. You just grab the bag and you go. Tip number two, lower the bar for ready. What? Ready means you don't need to be fully dressed. Hair done makeup. On to leave the house, you really don't. Some of the best outings in those early days Were just an oversized hoodie and no makeup whatsoever. Nobody cared. Nobody was looking at me thinking, wow, she's really let herself go. And if they were, that is literally their problem, not mine. The same goes for the baby. They don't need a coordinated outfit. They need a nappy and something warm enough. That's it. And you will have your time to coordinate everything to look on point if you want to at times, But postpartum with a newborn, trying to get out for some fresh air is not that moment. Lower the bar, get out the door. You can raise the bar again when you've had more sleep. So in about 18 years. I'm joking, I'm kidding. It's not. It's not 18 years. Tip number three, feed just before you leave, not ages. Before. This one took me way too long to figure out. I used to think that I needed to feed the baby. Then get ready, then leave. But by the time I was ready, the baby was hungry again, and we were back to square one. If this is something that you've figured out already, then good on you. I literally didn't. What works better is this. Get yourself ready first. Get dressed, bag is packed, keys in hand. Then feed the baby, then go immediately after that. So the last thing you're doing is feeding the baby than leaving, so it is less likely the baby's gonna need to feed again anytime soon. Yes, you might be sitting there with your coat on feeding the baby. It looks a bit ridiculous, but it means that when feeding is done, you're literally walking out the door. No delays, no refeeds. Tip number four, have a grab and go outfit for yourself. Keep a simple outfit, something comfortable that you feel okay in. Something easy to access, not buried in the wardrobe right there. Ready. On hard days, that's what you wear. No decisions, no trying things on, no. Standing in front of the mirror, feeling rubbish about how nothing fits. Just grab it, put it on, and you're done like your go-to comfy outfit. Tip number five, don't aim for long outings at the beginning. When you're just starting to get outta the house, don't try and do a full day trip or even a big shop. Start small, a walk around the block, a drive through coffee, a 10 minute sit in the park a's it, that's enough. Build your confidence with small outings and the bigger ones will feel more manageable over time. Okay, so you've made it out the door. Amazing. Now here's how you make the actual outing less stressful. So number six. Try places where you can stop, feed, change, or sit for a minute if things go sideways. For me, it was the baby changing rooms in John Lewis. The parent rooms at the local shopping center and a cafe near my house that had comfy sofas, and I didn't mind if I sat there for ages with a sleeping baby. When you know you've got somewhere to go, if things get overwhelming, it takes so much pressure off. You're not thinking, what if the baby screams and I'm stuck? You're thinking if the baby screams, I'll just pop into that place and sort it out, and you'll notice so much of the overwhelm disappear. Scout out your local area, find your reset spots. It makes such a difference. Tip number seven, give yourself permission to leave early. You don't have to stay out for a set amount of time. You don't have to finish the full shop or stay for the whole baby group. I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves, don't we? With things? If you go to a baby group, go, oh, I need to stay till the end. It's okay to step out if it's not working for you anymore, if it's not working for you. If it's not working for baby, if baby's unsettled, if you're overwhelmed, if you're just done, you can leave anytime. No explanation needed. I used to feel like I had to justify leaving early, like I was failing if I didn't stick it out. But actually leaving when you need to is smart. It means you'll be more likely to try again next time instead of putting it on. Tip number eight, keep expectations low. This ties into the mindset stuff, but it's worth repeating. Don't go out expecting a lovely, peaceful experience. Expect the chaos. Expect something to go wrong. Expect to feel a bit frazzled, and then when it goes slightly better than that, it feels like a win. I know that sounds a bit pessimistic, but honestly it's freeing almost. When you're not chasing a perfect outing, you can actually enjoy the imperfect ones, and sometimes they're the best ones to be honest. Tip number nine, celebrate the small wins. You left the house today. That's a win. You got to the shop and back without a meltdown. Yours or the babies, that's a win. He sat in a cafe for 10 minutes and had a warm drink. That's a definite win. It all sounds small, but you deserve to feel proud of them. So the times when it doesn't go so well, let's talk about that because that will happen. It happens to everyone. It has happened to me more times than I can remember. You're in the middle of the supermarket and the baby has a complete meltdown, or you realize you've forgotten the wipes and there's a nappy explosion, or you just can't cope anymore in that day. Here's what I want you to know. It's okay. It's really okay. It doesn't feel okay in that moment. You literally want the ground to swallow you up. You wanna just. Disappear and for it to all go away. I really know that feeling. I was in a restaurant once with my baby, having lunch with a friend, I was a new mom, and he just started this massive, I mean, he was a bit older than a tiny baby, had this massive meltdown. The whole restaurant was looking at me like none of them had ever had children before. I just wanted to die. I was like so embarrassed. I wanted to leave. I'll never forget it, like talking about it now, and I can remember the feeling, but these things are gonna happen, and with experience, you understand that it's okay, but I'm telling you now, it happens to everyone. No one is judging you as harshly as you are judging yourself. Most people who see a struggling mom with a crying baby are thinking one of two things, being there. Or thank goodness it's not me today, and that's because it has been them at one point. If you need to abandon the trolley and leave, do it. If you need to sit down in the middle of the shop and feed the baby, do it. If you need to call someone and have a little cry in the car park, my gosh, do it one bad outing. Doesn't mean you can't do this. It just means today was hard. Tomorrow is a new day. Give yourself grace and the more you go out, the more you'll learn. You'll learn what time of day works best for your baby. You'll learn which places are easier than others. You'll learn what actually you need in your bag versus what you thought you needed. Many first time moms over pack. I definitely did Every outing, good or bad. It's teaching you something, take the lesson from it, rather than feeling like that's, oh, I, I can't do that again. That, that was horrendous. It might be horrendous, but what did you learn from that outing that you don't want to happen again, and how can you prevent that from happening next time? Some things are out of our control. Meltdowns are out of our control. Exploding nappies are out of our control, but you can control how your. Dealing with it, but that comes with experience too. This episode is me giving you that experience in advance. Okay. Let's talk about getting the buggy in and out of the car. I now mentioned it earlier and. I mentioned it because it, it was a big deal for me, and I know it is a lot and a big deal for a lot of moms. The thought of getting the buggy in and out of the car was genuinely one of the biggest barriers to leaving the house. It felt like such a faff unfolding it, loading it, unloading it, folding it back up, finding somewhere to store it. Here are a few things that helped me. Firstly. Practice at home? No, seriously, just practice folding and unfolding the buggy a few times when you are not under pressure. Get familiar with it. Learn the little tricks. Some buggies have a knack to them, and once you figure it out, it's so much easier. I got this incredible double buggy when I had my second baby and I was just like, ah, I'm one of those people. I'm like, I'll figure it out. It'll be fine. Got the double buggy outta the car. First time. I could not figure out how to, I can't remember whether to extend it into two or to put it down. Something I couldn't figure out is going out of my mind. It was so stressful. So practicing at home is definitely something that will take that stress away and something I should have done. Secondly, consider alternatives. You don't always need the buggy. A baby carrier or a sling can be brilliant for quick trips. Babies close to you, your hands are free. There's no folding involved or there's the car seat buggies, I've never actually had one of those because by the time I knew about them, I'd purchased too many buggies and my husband dogged me. No more buggies allowed. So I didn't actually ever get one of those, but for school runs and like quick trips. Even though, you know the baby's not supposed to be in a car seat for an extensive amount of time, it's another option if you are on quick trips. Thirdly, if you've got if you can leave the buggy in the car, leave it set up in the boot. If you can or if you fold it down, just leave it there so at least you don't have to keep putting it in and out of the car. It takes up space. Yeah, but it means one less thing to do when you're heading out. And fourth, accept that it's annoying, but doable. Sometimes there's just no hack. Sometimes you just have to wrestle with the buggy and it's annoying, but it's three minutes of your life. You can do three annoying minutes, and then you are out. And it's worth it. Or sometimes if it was possible, I would walk. If I was going to the shops and it was walkable, I would just walk rather than going in the car because it was actually easier than putting the buggy in and out of the car. And you get the fresh air as well. I, I want to end by talking about why this actually matters, because it would be easy to listen to this episode and think. Is leaving the house really that important? Can't I just stay in? And the answer quite simply is, yes, you can just stay. In some days. That's exactly what you should do. But here's what I noticed. When I wasn't leaving the house, I was getting smaller. The world was shrinking. Everything felt harder, scarier, more overwhelming. When I started going out, even just for small trips, even when it was hard, something shifted. I started to feel like myself again, like I was still a person in the world, not just a feeding and changing machine trapped inside four walls. The fresh air is good for you and the baby. It helps. A change of scenery helps Seeing other humans helps. And there's something really powerful about proving to yourself that you can do it. That you can get outta the house with a baby even when it's hard. Every time you do it, you are building confidence. You're showing yourself that you are capable and that confidence spills over into everything else that you do. I really hope this episode has helped you feel a bit more prepared or at least a little bit less alone when it comes to the whole leaving the house situation. If you're struggling with this right now, please be gentle with yourself. It's hard. It's supposed to be hard at first, but you will get better at it, I promise you. And if you want more practical support for those early months of motherhood, whether it's leaving the house, managing the admin, or just figuring out what the heck you are supposed to be doing, I've got a resource that might help. The first time Mom Ultimate Handbook is packed with step-by-step guidance for first time moms. It covers all the stuff that nobody tells you. You can find it on my Stand store, my website. The link is in the show notes. If this episode resonated with you or if you know a mom that is. Struggling with this, please share it with a mom friend who might need to hear it too. And don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode. You are doing amazing. Even if you haven't left the house today, even if you're listening to this in your pajamas and it's 2:00 PM you're doing amazing.