Helpful Tips for Surviving the 3 AM Baby Feeds

Charlie opens up about the reality of 3am feeds — the loneliness, the exhaustion, but also the unexpected tenderness of those quiet hours. Whether you're breastfeeding or bottle feeding, this episode is packed with practical tips to help you survive (and even enjoy) the night shift, from prepping bottles in advance to finding your night time Netflix companion.

What You'll Learn

* Why you're never really alone at 3am (welcome to the club)

* How to set up simple "feeding stations" around your home

* The bottle prep hack that saves your sanity during night feeds

* Why room temperature bottles might be your best friend

* How to steal sleep before the night shift begins

* Finding comfort in podcasts, shows, and mum friends who get it

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Transcript

0:25

Hello and welcome back to chat with Charlie on Mom Matters. I'm Charlie Mama five, and today we're talking about something every single one of us knows about far too Well the 3:00 AM feed that strange little pocket of time where the world is asleep and it's just you and your baby. there's something almost magical about it, but also obviously very exhausting and quite lonely. And if you're not set up right, it can be quite chaotic. So today I wanna share what I've learned across five babies about making those night feeds feel less like survival mode and more like something you can actually get through without completely losing your mind. So let's get into it. First, I wanna talk about what I call the 3:00 AM Mom Club, if you know, you know, because when you're sitting in the dark feeding your baby at 3:00 AM it can feel like you're the only person in the world who's awake, but you're not. There are thousands of us all sitting in our dimly lit rooms. With a baby on our chest, wondering if we're doing it right, and I want you to know that you are. By the way, I remember with my first, I'd be sat there in the dark feeling so alone, so isolated, and honestly a bit resentful that my, my husband was fast asleep at bed. But here's the thing, no one tells you. those quiet hours become some of your most tender memories, even when they're hard. Even when you are running on two hours of broken sleep, which I personally like to call napping, I don't think there's any such thing as sleep, fall sleep. it's a luxury word in the, those, early days. There's something about. Being the one that your baby needs in those small still hours, that changes you. You are not just feeding them, you are becoming their mom. You are evolving. Let's talk practically about it though. If you're breastfeeding, the good news is there's not much prep. When it comes to the milk itself, you're pretty sorted there. It's on demand. Your body does the work, but what you can do is set yourself up so you are not fumbling around in the dark. Have breast pads ready, have muslins within an arm's reach, and honestly have a change of clothes for both you and the baby in every feeding spot in the house. You'll be glad that I told you to do this because when leaks happen, when they throw up all over you, it happens. And at 3:00 AM the last thing you wanna do is be tiptoeing around looking for a clean top while your baby is screaming. Set up little stations wherever you feed. This is a really helpful tip, whether you're breastfeeding or bottle feeding. Doesn't matter. You wanna have everything ready so that you don't have to think at three o'clock in the morning, two o'clock in the morning, whenever it is. You don't wanna have to be thinking, where's this, where's that? Oh gosh, why didn't I have that ready? Those little baskets, those little wicker baskets that you can buy, fill them with all those essential things, the Muslims, the nappies, the white. The water for yourself, change of clothes for the baby, change of clothes for you. Little snacks, even things that you're gonna need in the living room. The bedroom, the baby's nursery, if there is one. It sounds so simple, but early hours of the morning. Simple is everything now. I mostly bottle fed, so I've got a few tips that genuinely saved my sanity, which I definitely did not know when I had my first baby. So if you are the person listening to this right now, and you're about to have, or you've just had your first baby, I'm gonna put you 10 steps ahead of the game. First in the evening, before the night feeds even start sterilize all your bottles and fill them with boiling water. That way. When you need a bottle at 2:00 AM 4:00 AM 6:00 AM the water's already called to the right temperature and you don't have to wait while your baby's screaming for a bottle. You just add the formula, shake and go. No waiting, no faffing, no crying from you or the baby. Second. And this one might be a little controversial, but I'm gonna go for it anyway. Room temperature bottles are absolutely fine. I'd actually say start as you need to go on. Also, something I didn't know with first baby, if you warm bottles from day one, baby gets used to it naturally. And then you're stuck warming bottles forever, including when you're out and about and there is nowhere to warm the bottle. I was actually at an appointment with my son last week, my 11-year-old son, so he definitely didn't need a bottle, but we were in the waiting room and there was a woman waiting with her son. I think he was probably about eight years old, but she also had a new baby. And then I saw her, the baby started whinging a little bit. I saw her frantically start panicking, looking around her in the waiting room. Now we're in a hospital, so you know, it, it's a, it's a pretty safe place for, for whatever she needed. But she went to the reception desk and she said to them, do you have, a hot water supply so I can warm my baby's bottle? I saw the receptionist shake her head and so that they don't. And that she needed to go elsewhere in the hospital to get hot water, I could see her frantically looking around. How is she gonna do this? Her son might be called for an appointment. they're in the waiting room. Her baby needs the bottle, she's got the milk in her hand, the bottle. But she wanted to warm the bottle up, so I'm presuming she wanted to sit it in a cup of hot water to warm the bottle up. And they told her that she needed to go to a different part of the hospital. And she's saying to her 8-year-old. Will you be all right sitting there for a minute while I run and get some hot water? I am not a busy body type of person. I really, I'm not, I mean, I wanna give you the advice so you are ready, but I would never push my opinion onto somebody else. And I'm sitting there thinking to myself, if only she knew or realized that room temperature bottles are perfectly fine. she could literally save herself. So much hassle right now by just getting the baby used to a room temperature bottle. it's something that I didn't realize when I was a first time mom. I thought you had to warm the bottles up and they had to be like warmed up. so it was a game changer for me. So if I've made a game changer for you too, then that makes me super happy. and I really hope that this other mom, wherever she is now. might learn that in the future too, or just to help make her life easier. So my advice to you, if you're in the early days, consider skipping the bottle warmer altogether, your future self will. Thank you. Now I have to mention the Tommy Tippy Perfect Prep Machine. Some health visitors are not fans, but honestly, it saved my life and my sanity. I didn't get it till my second baby. My mom bought it for us as a gift. They'd just come out at that time and a fresh, perfectly made bottle in under two minutes. Suits me fine. When I am doing the night feeds, it's everything that I wanted. Now, people do not like them there is some controversy about them for how clean they are, but from my experience, you buy new sterilized. Filters that you put in every few months or as frequently as you want to really. But it will tell you the light comes up when it needs to be changed. You keep it extremely clean, you clean it regularly inside the filter and out like the, there's instructions on how to clean it, how to descale it. If you stick to those instructions, then I feel that they're perfectly fine. I found them perfectly fine. I'm not professional, I'm not a health visitor. but. I thoroughly enjoyed my experience using my tummy tippy perfect prep machine, with my babies because it made my life so much easier and my babies were happy and it comes out warm. so it's good for through the night feeds. If you're bottle feeding and you can stretch to buying one, I'd say it's worth every penny. Personally. Here's something I did with all five of my babies that made a massive, massive difference in those early weeks. I would sleep. While my partner was still awake. So in the evenings, it depends. If you are first time mom, you can just do this quite freely. If your partner's up watching tv, pottering around the house, whatever they're doing, and they can watch the baby and you can either pump and they can feed the baby or they can bottle feed the baby and you can nap in that time. That's quite a large window to get like a good rest in if you've got smaller children. What I did was. We'd both get the kids to bed, however many we had at the time. And then whatever time was left, after that in the evenings, I would sleep or nap, sleep, luxury word, nap on the sofa for a couple of hours, three hours even sometimes, and he would look after the baby. So I could get that boost, that power now. Until he goes to bed at about 11:00 PM 1130, and bless him like he would try and stay up as late as possible, even though he had work the next morning. So then I felt somewhat refreshed for the night shift when he went to bed. So because he had to work the next day, I would take over from there, but I was quite. Okay to do so because I'd had that power and nap and I know you can get distracted by things in the house that need doing, and shall I just have a shower even? Forget the luxuries right now. Just get the sleep that you need. Especially in those early days, the first six weeks, there's no routine whatsoever. Baby is in charge. They feed on demand. But after that six weeks, you will start to get some kind of routine and you can put little things in place then. But right now at the beginning, sleep when you can. Not always when the baby sleeps. I don't think that's always possible. I don't think it's realistic. But sleep when you can, for sure. I found having that little nap gave me just enough energy to get through. You don't have to power through the whole evening. You've just gotta change the way you do things a bit. Someone else can hold the baby, take a nap, even 20 minutes gives you that boost that you'll need. Another thing that really helped me. having something to watch or to listen to during the feeds a good Netflix series. My gosh, I binged so many Netflix series or a podcast, hint, hint, something that made those 3:00 AM moments feel like a little less lonely. It gave me something to look forward to actually like, okay, it's food time, but at least I get to watch my show. Find your thing. Whether it's a guilty pleasure drama, or a True Crime podcast or chat with Charlie on Mom Matters podcast, It makes the night feeds feel more bearable. If you've got a mom friend who's in the same season of life, text each other, send a voice note to each other, cheer each other on at 2:00 AM. Or even, support each other. if one of you's having a particularly difficult night, you are not on your own even when it feels like you are. So let me give you a few more things that I wish I don't known earlier. Keep your phone on night mode with the brightness low. It helps you fall back to sleep faster after the feed. Have a water bottle next to your feeding spot. You'll get thirsty, especially if you're breastfeeding, if you're pumping, prep, everything the night before, bottles, storage bags, all of it. And here's a mindset one, you know, I love mindset. Try not to clock. Watch. I know it's easier said than done. It is tempting to count how many hours until the morning, but it just makes the night feel longer. Focus on the feed in front of you because let's be honest, there really is no time frame at the beginning. It's like just one long day that never ends. That's how I felt. Anyway, just go one feed at a time. You'll get through it. So there you go. my best tips for surviving and even possibly enjoying those 3:00 AM feeds. Set yourself up before bed. Keep things simple. Still sleep when you can. And remember, you're part of a club now. The 3:00 AM Mom Club. And there are thousands of us right there with you. You're not alone. You're doing an incredible job, and one day sooner than you think, you'll sleep through the night again, I promise. If you know a mom that is sleep deprived and if early days after having a baby and that she could benefit from listening to this right now. Please share it with her so she can listen to it too and benefit and make sure you're following chat with Charlie on Mom Matters so that you're notified of every new episode. I love having you with me.